In a world where love often begins with a swipe, the dangers of deception have reached alarming heights. One of the most chilling reminders of this reality comes from Dover, New Hampshire. Jason Subirana, a 48-year-old man, fabricated an entirely fictitious stalker to manipulate and control women he was dating. His twisted scheme, spanning five years, now has him facing prison time — and it raises serious concerns about how vulnerable we are in digital relationships.

The Shocking Case of Jason Subirana (Dover Stalker)

On May 21, 2025, Subirana pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court to three counts of stalking. Between November 2016 and December 2021, he harassed three women he was romantically involved with by creating a fake stalker persona. According to acting U.S. Attorney Jay McCormack, he used more than 50 anonymous phone numbers and dozens of fake email accounts to send over 650 harassing messages.

These messages were crafted to instill fear, confusion, and emotional distress. Subirana not only messaged his victims under this false identity — he even sent himself abusive messages to make the story more convincing. One of the anonymous texts read: “You should be grateful he’s put up with all your lies… Stop trying to make him look like a bad guy, he’s the best thing you have… Lucky he hasn’t put you to the curb like the trash bag that you are.”

In another message he sent to himself, he was told: “Do you really think you’re the only one she’s (having sex with)? You really should get yourself tested. Put something in the mail for you — keep an eye out for it.” These messages helped deepen the illusion of a dangerous third-party threat.

Subirana even accessed a victim’s private email to manipulate and emotionally damage her by forwarding past conversations to himself. In another incident, he impersonated a victim’s male coworker and sent her sexually explicit messages, effectively framing him and adding to her emotional trauma.

Sources:
justice.gov
seacoastonline.com
bostonglobe.com

Emotional Abuse Disguised as Protection

Subirana’s actions represent one of the most calculated forms of emotional abuse: coercive control. By manufacturing a threat, he positioned himself as both the protector and the victim. He created a false sense of danger to make his partners emotionally dependent on him. His methods were subtle, manipulative, and terrifyingly effective.

This kind of gaslighting forces victims to second-guess their instincts and experiences. And because Subirana positioned himself as the only person who could understand or help them, it built a warped emotional bond underpinned by fear and confusion.

The Tools That Enabled His Abuse

Subirana’s methods were simple — but the tech that enabled them is widely accessible. Free apps like TextNow and encrypted email providers allow users to generate anonymous accounts within minutes. With no identity verification and little oversight, these tools became weapons in the hands of someone with manipulative intent.

These tools weren’t hacked or misused beyond their design — they worked exactly as intended, but without proper checks, they enabled sustained harassment and trauma.

How This Case Exposes a Flaw in Dating Platforms

Many online dating apps still rely on outdated safety features. A verified profile might only mean the user uploaded a selfie or connected a social media account. None of these measures stop someone like Subirana from hiding behind layers of digital anonymity and spinning a web of lies over years.

This case didn’t involve deepfake videos or hacking. It simply required time, manipulation, and an alarming lack of guardrails — both in personal tech and on dating platforms that fail to prioritize user safety.

How to Stay Safe When Dating Online

To protect yourself in a world where threats may come disguised as love, keep the following tips in mind:

• Watch for manipulation: Repeated crises or dramatic stories may be a sign of control or emotional abuse.
• Don’t overshare early: Avoid giving out access to your email, devices, or passwords.
• Verify identity early: Use video chats and reverse image searches to validate a person’s profile.
• Trust your gut: If something feels off, investigate and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
• Keep records: Save messages, screenshots, and other proof of suspicious behavior.
• Use secure platforms: Choose apps with real-time verification and moderation tools.

A Call to Action for Dating Apps

This case is a wake-up call. Dating platforms can no longer rely on surface-level safety features. They must implement smarter, deeper identity verification processes — like biometric authentication, AI-based behavior analysis, and live user validation. Protecting users needs to be a core feature, not an afterthought.

These tools already exist. The question is whether dating apps will take the lead — or wait for more tragedies like this one to force action.

It’s Time for Safer Love

The Jason Subirana case isn’t just about stalking — it’s about the terrifying ways digital tools can be used to control, manipulate, and hurt. His actions caused real psychological damage. But his victims’ stories have the power to bring about change — if we listen.

In a world of filters and fake profiles, real love should never come with real fear. We deserve dating spaces that feel human — not harmful.

It’s Time for a Secure Dating Platform

This case is more than a headline. It’s a warning. We need a new kind of dating app — one that values authenticity, protects against fraud, and uses technology to create safety instead of masking danger. A place where users know they’re talking to a real person — and can date without fear of manipulation.

Because real love can’t grow in a place full of lies. It’s time to build something better — together.